Scared of coming last  and say yes more

So on my other blog, I’ve just posted a diary of my cycling activities. It was a pretty epic week even by my standards as we got married on Saturday! It was an amazing day with wonderful people. I don’t want to just gush about my wedding (well I do , but I’ll save that for later).What I wanted to talk about though was something I noticed in a couple of my guests. A reluctance to join in and have fun.

So let me explain, I’m a cycling fan/nerd/obsessive, so at our wedding we had some fun bikes; circle cycle, bike powered juke box, wedding rickshaw. We also had a band and some other crazy activities. It was great, I am  biased but several guests have said it was the best wedding they’ve ever been too. A couple of my lovely guests did not get involved in the fun, putting aside introverts and extroverts for the moment, and other differences that we all have, I was left feeling that they had missed out. I’m not exploring why they chose to do that, but just that they did miss out on some awesome experiences.

This made me think of times I have done this and things I have missed out because of some reluctance to try something new.

A long time ago now (at the end of my previous marriage actually) I made a conscious decision to say ‘yes’ more. To try new things, even if I was scared or thought I might not enjoy it, just try it and experience it and I might like it. This mental shift led to many wonderful experiences, a handful of full things that I won’t repeat again, but on the whole it was a fabulous journey of discovery. I do still have some red lines like I’m not going to do something illegal or likely to result in serious injury. I have done an ironman, two actually, I’ve sung a solo on stage, I’ve launched a business to name a few of the bigger things I have done.

I’ve actually reached a point where I’m pretty happy to say ‘yes’ and have a wonderful full filing life. Now I’m in a phase  where I might have to say ‘no’ a bit more so I can ensure I spend my time wisely.

But here comes the problem, it’s easy to say yes or to say no, it’s hard to do a bit of both.

I found myself signed up for the Rampage in Leeds. This is a bike race. Not an endurance race but a sprint race up a carpark, not my forte at all. I knew I was going to come last, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do it at all. What if I couldn’t finish the course, how embarrassing would that be. So I recruited Rob to race too, he got excited and I borrowed his enthusiasm. I got to the start line, I had a practise and was very relieved to find I could complete the course, it was actually easy to cycle up the car park, the corners were more technical (where the race was won) but certainly within my abilities and most cyclists abilities. I had an absolute blast, I competed in three events, I showed mild improvement. The last race was awesome, I narrowly lost to Trina but enjoyed every moment of it.

What if I’d let my reluctance to race get the better of me, I would have stayed home and missed this amazing experience. The views from the top were epic, the atmosphere fun, the music was great. Awesome memories were made. I recognized this reluctance from my earlier self and what I thought I saw in those handful of wedding guests who did not join in. Were they too scared of not liking it, worried about discomfort (either physical or mental) and so they missed out on creating awesome memories.

I had a blast at the rampage despite being worried about coming last. Guess what!? I did come last, but it was amazing, next year I’ll try again. I don’t care if I come last. How liberating is that!?

Next time you think you might not like something, or you are downright scared that you’ll come last, try it anyway. You will most likely create an epic memory that will last you a lifetime.

It’s also fine to say no if you know it’s not your thing, no judgement here, just encouragement to create awesome memories.